Your Confidence Crisis and How to Make It Better with These Ten Tips
Ten tips on how to help you boost your confidence.
Each time we face our fear, we gain strength, courage, and confidence in the doing.- Theodore Roosevelt.
Here’s the first thing to know. No one is confident all the time. That means we’ve all got room to improve. You will find useful tips here to help you raise your self-esteem.
What is it about artists and confidence?
Maybe it’s because art is subjective, and artists are generally more sensitive than others. From my experience, too many artists battle with a crisis of confidence.
I posted this question on my personal Facebook feed, What’s the biggest obstacle keeping you from achieving your goals as an artist? A lack of confidence was the top response among the nearly 100 comments.
When you make art, it is with the knowledge others will judge your creation, which can be nerve-wracking! It’s easy to understand how such an anxiety-producing factor pushes confidence down. For me, seeing this happen is heartbreaking.
I Relate through Personal Experience
I feel your pain. Been there done that. Got the t-shirt, battle scars, and credit card bills to prove it.
I know how easy it is to get a negative script running in one’s brain … I’ve been there! I felt it every time I published one of my six books. I get my version of questions such as, “Is my art is good enough. Will it sell? Who will want to buy it? What could I have done to make it better? Did I quit too soon, or overwork the piece? And, the beat goes. You can learn to stay on top and keep negativity at bay. I do it and so can you!
The time is right!
You know dwelling on the past is pointless because you can’t change history. At the same time, you can acknowledge your past without reliving it.
Acceptance for what was and resolution for what comes next are your keys to success going forward.
It’s time to gather your courage and face your fears head-on.
You have all the power you need to change your future. Right here, right now is where you start to make a difference.
Here are ten tips to boost your confidence.
Words matter. Stop the internal dialog where you call yourself a dummy or whatever words you use to put yourself down in private, or to others for that matter. Such talk reinforces negative attitudes. If you would never say things in that way about yourself to a stranger, then they should never be mentioned in any circumstance.
Replace negative expression with positive ones. Catch yourself in the act. Note it. Vow to do better. Practice what to say on the upside until it is second nature. For example, replace, “Hey dummy, that was pretty stupid” with “Hey smartie, let’s make sure not to do that again.”
Stop comparing, uplift others instead –
There is only one you. You are a unique creation. Your only measure is against yourself. It’s not hurtful to note the accomplishments of others. Just don’t compare what they’ve done to your life and career. Be happy for those who currently outshine you and compassionate toward those who do not fare as well as you. Make this your habit, and you will cause an ongoing nurturing of yourself and others. A great way to boost your self-esteem is to help others raise theirs? You enjoy a happy byproduct of being in service to others.
Don’t complain –
No one wants to hear it except those who would feed it back to you, or worse, use the insights to harm you. Either decide you will act to fix what you are complaining about or drop it. If it’s a bigger issue than you can fix on your own, do what you can and learn to let it go. Festering on things out of your control leads to depression, anxiety and lack of confidence.
Be kind to yourself & share your love –
Quit abusing yourself with a lack of self-respect. Learn to care for yourself first so you can care for others. Never take your family and friends for granted or treat them with indifference. Hug your spouse, partner, kids, and dog. Tell them you love them and let them know you are proud of them. Give them your unconditional love in a way they know they have it.
Share your love generously. It’s free and you can’t take it with you or spend it any other way.
If you didn’t get enough love and attention when growing up, turn it around. Be the one who breaks the chain. Remember sharing your love and being kind to yourself is the ultimate way to build your self-worth.
Acknowledge your accomplishments –
It is too easy to forget what we have done and how we got there. Take stock of the big things you’ve done, and the many little wins you had that made your significant gains possible. Write them down and review them regularly. Ask others to help you by telling you how they view your accomplishments whether in your career or life. Don’t coach them with hints. You want their unvarnished reaction. You’re going to be surprised.
By you reading this post, I can with certainty say you are one of the fortunate few. Be grateful for your blessings. Your life and mine is the gold standard for those who struggle every day for clean water, shelter, and food. Be thankful for the gift of your artistry and learn to share it with joy and humility. A regular, genuine expression of gratitude will boost your confidence and sense of well-being.
Look for the bright side –
Every human has four endowments – self awareness, conscience, independent will and creative imagination. These give us the ultimate human freedom… The power to choose, to respond, to change. Stephen Covey
You always have a choice as the late Stephen Covey taught us. It’s true no matter what happened to us in the past that we can use our endowment of free will to choose how we react to things affecting our lives. It is not always easy, but we can decide how we view and respond to any situation.
Choose resolve and kindness over anger and frustration. Invest the time and energy to get there because when you do the payoff is immense as you evolve into your higher self. As you feel the payoff coming on, you’ll find your self-confidence blossoming with it.
Stand tall –
Your posture matters. Straighten your back and pull your shoulders up. Take a deep breath. Acknowledge you just made yourself a tad more attractive. Create a little mantra to repeat to yourself as you do. For example, (but create your own), “It’s a good day. I’m happy. I give love and joy.” By repeatedly linking an affirmative physical action with a positive thought, you create personal elevating moments. The accumulative result will be palpable to others and you.
Be proud –
You can be both humble and proud. Being proud is not the same as being prideful. Being proud in this sense means you are aware of who you are, what you’ve done, and what you will achieve in your life. In this sense, what it means to be proud is you have self-awareness.
You’ve taken stock of where you are, how you got there and where you are going. And, that you take a measure of pride in the pitfalls and setbacks you’ve endured as well as your successes. Take pride in your appearance. When you look good, you feel good, and others take notice.
What would life be if we had no courage to attempt anything? —Vincent van Gogh
Smile, Think Positive and Screw Perfection –
The more you smile, the better you feel. There is a definite physiological and psychological reaction that happens when you smile. Facial expressions are powerful. A smile is irresistible. It is going to make you feel better as it will anyone who sees you smile.
It’s human nature. Smiles like yawns are infectious. They work on powerful, physiological, emotional, and mental levels at once. Work on smiling, thinking positively, and standing tall more often. These things will lessen your anxiety, unleash your endorphins, and make life easier for you and those around you.
Perfection is the enemy of both good and done. Seeking perfection is buzz-killing and anxiety-producing. You can and must conquer perfection.
Get professional help when you need it. Don’t let worries about being stigmatized hold you back.
If your confidence crisis is based on “head trash” these lay person tips will help you lift your spirits and raise your confidence.
On the other hand, if your confidence is beaten down by clinical depression, or severe mental or physical health problems, I don’t mean to make light of them here. Should that be your case, I offer my sympathy for your problems. I also encourage you to seek help. The best way to get better is to get help… qualified professional treatment can work wonders on many issues.
We are all just humans doing our best to try and get by, to make a living, and if we are lucky, to make a difference in our short time on this spinning globe, we call home.
It is my fondest wishes for you that you attain peace of mind, grow your confidence, and enjoy all the success in your life that you richly deserve.
Bonus Advice from the artist, CutZy McCall
Actually, Barney, the major one was left out: MEDITATE, MEDITATE, MEDITATE!
I’ve been meditating daily, and it’s tremendous. The surge of well-being helps you clearly focused define your actions and goals, declutter your mind and physical space, stop overthinking and realize that your self-esteem issues are a result of past events and the influence of the people from your past who were scared of failure themselves.
If you meditate every day (and evening), you will have a great chance of achieving your loftiest goals. You can’t succeed without mental relaxation and happiness. If you are always “wanting” out of fear and anxiety, your brain will actually push the good things away because “wanting” indicates a lack, so you must meditate as if the things you want are already there, or on their way soon. Then life becomes fun, not drudgery, and you can go for it naturally. Anyway, that’s my experience. Meditating opens me up to allow the opportunities to flow in without impediment.